"Hello, we are Those People Who Try to Order Coffee and Talk on Their Cellphones at the Same Time."

I'm the guy who comes in with his cell phone glued to his ear, talking loudly and standing in front of the counter. Whenever I come to a break in my conversation, I quickly make eye contact and try to order something. I often ask questions about what types of bagels the shop offers or what kind of milk is available, but before the employee can respond I'm talking on my phone again and miss his or her answer. And if you ask me to clarify my order, I give you a hurried nonsensical response and get offended when you mess up my vague order.

It's very nice to meet you.