"Hello, we are Those People Who Make Awkward Small Talk."

I'm the man who comes in and attempts to greet the baristas like old friends, laughing about some inside joke I imagine we share, even though the baristas have no idea what's going on. I take my time at the counter, and while I stall to look at the menu longer, I make wisecracks about coffee and pastries that I think make the mood lighter, but which actually make the people behind the counter very uneasy and the people in line behind me very impatient. Maybe I think that my sense of humor will win me better service or special discounts; in reality, any time I approach the door, the baristas sigh and say to each other, "Oh no, it's that creepy guy again...you take the cash register, I don't want to deal with him..."

I also flirt with all of the female baristas, even though they're in their 20s and I'm in my 50s.

It's very nice to meet you.