"Hello, we are Those People Who Blatantly Take Money from the Tip Jar."

I'm the man who always pays for his cup of house coffee with a large bill, but wants to round off his purchase to the nearest dollar. Instead of bringing my own spare change, however, I'll simply sneak a few dimes and pennies out of the tip jar to account for the additional 27¢. The baristas let this slide the first few times I do it, but call me on it once it becomes clear that my action isn't a simple mental slip.

When called out, I apologize and put a bill in the cup. However, when the baristas pull out the tips at the end of the shift, they find that the bill was one of those million dollar bill Christian tracts.

It's very nice to meet you.