Friday, July 4, 2008

"Hello, we are Those People Who Have Decided to Be Disappointed with Their Drinks Before They Even Order."

I'm the first-time customer who already has a favorite coffee place elsewhere, but has come in here with a friend or at the behest of a coworker. I am not very excited about this change in my routine, and I repeatedly sigh as I scan the menu.

Once I approach the counter, I phrase my order negatively, saying things like, "I'm sure you don't have this, but..." or "I don't usually like [item], but I'll guess I'll have one since I don't see anything else worth getting..." I frown as a speak, talking in a monotonous timbre, as though I am speaking as a witness in a trial or having a painful conversation with an ex. I shake my head as I give the cashier my money, anguished that I am handing over my hard-earned three dollars for this nonsense.

When I receive my order and taste it, I grimace and mutter. I knew this drink was going to be bad. I live a hard life.

It's... sigh... very nice to meet you.

No comments: